Author: Bre Holligan

I remember the very first time that Cathy encouraged us to come to one of her Zumba classes… It was our first day of internship orientation and I had never been to one before. We weren’t quite sure what to expect but had been told to wear comfortable clothing. We started the day with trainings and then were invited to a Welcome Potluck. Each of the staff had brought a dish in celebration of our beginning with CTR. There was laughter, warm conversation, and a genuine air of happiness that filled our lunch. It was an unprecedented welcome in my seven years within the non-profit world, and gave me pause, knowing immediately that there was something different about this organization.  

Having just eaten a delicious meal, naturally, it was Zumba time. Staff began to move the furniture out of the conference room, and a business place soon transformed into a makeshift dance studio.  I strategically found my spot in the back corner, because let’s be honest, putting my poorly timed dance moves on display was not something I was trying to broadcast on my first day. I made self-deprecating jokes in between nervous laughter, and all of us interns looked at each other with a knowing glance, “no judgment, we are in this together!” The music began and there in the front stood our Executive Director, clad in brightly colored clothing, counting us down to the beginning of the song- 5, 6, 7, 8!! 

 I stumbled through the steps, trying to follow the rhythm. To be fair, I nailed about 10% of the moves, with grace, mind you… and creatively made up the remaining 90%. My improv kicks and spins were to give some semblance of movement so as to divert any attention away from what was happening in that back corner. If anyone walked by and saw my face they probably would have thought I was solving math equations. 

As I look back, I smile at that first time. New, nervous, self-conscious, vulnerable… all of the things which kick you out of your comfort zone. I am pretty adept at creating spaces for myself where I can guarantee success: planning, preparing, perfecting. That’s my forte. Dance is not. So, it’s likely not a shock that Zumba-ing in the middle of your internship can strip you down in a way that you can’t quite hide. And yet, it is also refreshing… In my world, which can often be linear, direct, and calculated, movement which is carefree and flowing is rejuvenating. 

And so, I persisted. I started going regularly to Cathy’s Zumba classes at MSU Denver. I began learning the moves, feeling the steps, remembering the songs (and still freestyling when necessary). While my awkwardness is still definitely there, it is now accompanied with a new-found confidence. Feeling more comfortable in my body. Moving. Sweating. Laughing. Singing. Socializing. That is what dance is creating for me.  I appreciate the opportunity and encouragement I have had to step out of my comfort zone at CTR. The next time you find me in a Zumba class, I’ll be in the front row, moving my hips (and to the beat on top of it all). Don’t come for me Shakira!